# 416 The Proverbs – ‘A manual for living’ (MSG). Proverbs 5:15-23. A far better way!

So far, the father in Proverbs has been painting a fairly negative picture to illustrate the ways of folly and its consequences in contrast to the ways of wisdom. But, now in chapter 5:15-23 he presents a better way!

The word “better” is used 127 times in the Bible and 21 of those are in Proverbs, such as:

For she [Wisdom] is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. (3:14)

Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil. (15:16)

Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred. (15:17)

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. (17:1)

So, what then is the better way presented in 5:15-23? We read:

¹⁵ Drink water from your own cistern,
    running water from your own well.
¹⁶ Should your springs overflow in the streets,
    your streams of water in the public squares?
¹⁷ Let them be yours alone,
    never to be shared with strangers.
¹⁸ May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ A loving doe, a graceful deer—
    may her breasts satisfy you always,
    may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

Kathleen Nielson comments: “Powerful as is the negative warning, even more powerful is the teacher’s positive urging towards the opposite of adultery: joyful marriage intimacy. Contrasting with the cloying [sickening] images of oil and bitter herbs [5:3-4), this instruction’s second half flows with the imagery of ‘water’ (v 15a); ‘flowing water’ (v 15b); ‘springs’ and ‘streams of water’ (v 16); and a ‘fountain’ (v 18a) – all images that celebrate the joys of sexual pleasure within marriage. The water is ‘from your own cistern … from your own well’ (v 15). The imagery and the tone are reminiscent of the Song of Solomon, and the message is the same: a celebration of love expressed sexually within marriage. The call is clear: to ‘rejoice in the wife of your youth’ (v 18b).” (# 55)

Then in direct contrast to being intoxicated with [your wife’s] love is,Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? (v 20)

Nielson continues:

“We should wholeheartedly revel in passages like this one, which play a part in pushing back the darkness of sexual perversion that we find around us in our world today… the force pushing back the darkness… [being] the goodness of marital love which lights up the landscape and shows up perversion for the perversion it is.” (# 55) The word ‘perversion’ meaning a distortion or corruption of the original meaning or purpose. In this case, God’s original plan for intimacy between a man and a woman where the key descriptive words are love, purity, faithfulness, commitment, and fidelity.” (# 55)

The father then concludes with the big picture, i.e., everything we do is in full view of the Lord! He says:

²¹ For your ways are in full view of the Lord,
    and he examines all your paths.
²² The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them;
    the cords of their sins hold them fast.
²³ For lack of discipline they will die,
    led astray by their own great folly.

The message is simple: “monogamous and permanent marriage relationships are the proper context for sexual relationships. There is much that can go wrong [sadly] in a marriage, but even pagans can recognise that the fabric of human society depends upon the maintenance of sexual ethics.” (# 53)

Let me finish with some words of wisdom from Paul to Timothy and Titus:

²² Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.  (2 Timothy 2:22)

¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. ¹² It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, ¹³ while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. (Titus 2:11-14)