# 471 The Proverbs – ‘A manual for living’ (MSG). Proverbs 25 (2) Refreshing others.

In my last Post I finished with the words:

“For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. (Luke 14:11)

So, the first lesson in “Leadership 101” is simple:

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)”

Well, as I continued on in my study of Proverbs 25, I realized that the second lesson is basically the same! More humility but this time considering the necessity of being humble in other circumstances. C.S. Lewis says that “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less”. In fact, humility it seems is what is required to prevent one being shamed by our actions and attitudes. Consider the use of shame in verse 8-10:

What you have seen with your eyes
⁸     do not bring hastily to court,
for what will you do in the end
    if your neighbor puts you to shame?

⁹ If you take your neighbor to court,
    do not betray another’s confidence,
¹⁰ or the one who hears it may shame you
    and the charge against you will stand.

A definition of shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour.

In Western culture, we don’t tend to stress this issue of “shame” like Eastern cultures do. We tend to avoid shame that cause us as individuals “a painful feeling”, but “many from non-western cultures who base their thoughts and actions more on communal shame and honor than we in the West tend to do would grasp more acutely the weight of shame and the blessing of honor dealt with here.” (# 55)

Jesus spoke of these things in Luke 6 when he said:

³⁷ “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. ³⁸ Give, and it will be given to you… ⁴¹ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴² How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Luke 6:37-38, 41-42)  

Being discerning (about ourselves and others) and humble in our dealings with others is a good way to avoid being shamed and humiliated.

And then there is the way we speak to and listen to others:

¹¹ Like apples of gold in settings of silver
    is a ruling rightly given.
¹² Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold
    is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear.

Or as the NLT puts it:

Timely advice is lovely,
    like golden apples in a silver basket.                                                                                                       To one who listens, valid criticism
    is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry.

Just as apples of gold in settings of silver and an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold are things of beauty, so “words of wisdom themselves are exquisitely beautiful; passed on and humbly received… The one instructed here is being encouraged to [humbly] listen to reproof and be adorned by wisdom.” (# 55)

Then there is something else that reflects the beauty of humility and wisdom and it is found in a faithful messenger as follows:

¹³ Like a snow-cooled drink at harvest time
    is a trustworthy messenger to the one who sends him;
    he refreshes the spirit of his master.

I guess we all have experienced and appreciated the refreshing nature of an ice-cold drink in the height of summer and given thanks to the one who produced it for us. Here, this is compared to the refreshment found in the life of a trustworthy messenger.

Proverbs 11:25 also says: A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Paul also spoke in this fashion concerning Philemon:

Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people. (Philemon 1:7)

Nielson comments: “verse 13… highlights the good of a faithful messenger and sets a worthy aspiration for anyone serving another. It should prompt us to ask ourselves, ‘Would those with whom I live and work say that I refresh their souls?’” (# 55)

In the end, only a humble person is capable of this, because as verse 14 says:

¹⁴ Like clouds and wind without rain
    is one who boasts of gifts never given.

Nothing refreshing comes from them, only empty promises!